Yeah, I know. Last year I declared that I would not start a new thread on GU and I would not be back as a regular member. "Never say never," as the phrase apparently goes. So now that everyone has left, and I have this place to myself, I can really tell the world what I think of the internet.

I HATE THE F'ING INTERNET! I hate it like a rich relative that is paying for my car insurance that I just happened to hate. Before I get into it I'll run through the things I do actually like about it.

1. You get news faster than on print.
2. You can shop faster than going out.
3. You can order pizza without having to talk to anyone.
4. You can bash celebrities in public without having your arrest broadcast on the evening news.
5. If you have a fetish for 17th century mahogany wardrobes you can relive your sordid fantasies over and over again.
6. Memes, yes everyone loves memes. Can't get enough f'ing memes. Chocolate Nyan Cat Badger Badger Diet Coke Mentos Fountain Rain blah blah blah blah blaaaah.
7. Learn about stuff. Like Vice City maps and whatnot.
8. Passionately proving points to people who don't really care.

Other than that the internet is pretty much useless. Sure you can find a lost loved one and get fed endless plates of bull**** from news sources about people who ought to be in jail anyway. But there really isn't much to do with it other than checking to see if your friends have posted comments on brushing their teeth. I'm not asking anyone any questions. I don't care if anyone replies. If you do, congratulations! It doesn't mean I'll respond in kind. I'm just really here to watch myself type about thing only I really care about. If you find it interesting, fine. I'm not aiming to keep anyone riveted or anxious to find out what I'll say next. I used to bank on that when this forum actually had people. It didn't work too well then and I don't imagine it'll do much better now. Partially because nobody likes to read anymore. It's all Youtube this and Twitter that. It feels like I'm being masturbated on by a very kinky Matrix. I just hope the agents pony up the cash because this digital media whore doesn't put out for free.

Moving along. Though there was a time that I was interested in helping people out with their "problems" about the conduct of other posters, I really don't want to be messaged about this, that and the other. I know I am technically a "moderator" but I just don't care. Bother someone else.

As for why I am "back" I can only say this: I am in one of those really freaking weird bull**** times in my life where very little I do seems to make much of a difference in any way, shape or form. I'm at one of those Aww F*** it times in my life where all I can do is shake my head, roll my eyes, sigh pathetically, and eat a lot of ice cream like a chick. YAY!

I'll post again sometime when I feel like it. In the meantime feel free to post a reply. I may not read it, but then again I might just. Who knows. It's bedtime now and I need to sleep. Sayonara or whatever............

I still visit this forum...

Everyday.

Yeah, we all evolved into some kind of lurkers. Zeeerrrrghhh

I just wrote a very long attack on myself. It was vicious, cruel and unforgiving. I have a big problem making myself out to be the bad guy. I believe in self-accountablility, but sometimes I take it too far. I have been trying to get into shape this summer and my body is not responding as quickly and effectively as I would like it and I launched into a self-eviscerating vitriolic critique. I didn't pull may punches. Though the truth is nobody needs to read that. And I don't really need to let it get that far. I know I have made some mistakes. I know that I am paying for them right now.

The truth is I don't know what is going to happen after I graduate in December. I really don't. I have a few ideas of what I might want to do but none of them are concrete. Going to UTSA for my graduate studies is currently at the top of my list. I have other prospects such as going to the Texas A&M Dept. of Visualization. Some of their graduates have gone on to animate some of the most famous 3D movies. College Station is a lot further away than I would like to travel at this time. It would also make it more difficult to see my family. San Antonio makes more sense. Even more than Austin or Houston if I decided to go ahead with the culinary thing. I have a big heart. I'd like to do a lot of things. Animation, and possibly video games is where my heart is most though.

When I move I'm going to have to do what I have to in order to live. That means work. I don't have much of a problem with that other than the fact that animation takes time. Work also takes time. I'm going to have to work out a way to do both in order to pay my way and learn what I want and need to. It will not be easy.

Graduation will not be the celebration of accomplishment I would like it to be. If I had more figured out than I may look at that day more fondly. But right now I really don't. If I had more going for me I might feel better about this. But as it is my personal life is Bull****, my sister is married to a stubborn selfish primitive misogynistic dimwit with serious denial issues, I have sleeping problems, and I'm in the midst of a self-improvment crusade. Nothing is on a firm foundation. Some things I can fix. Others I can't. What I can work on is getting better sleep and sticking with improving myself. I need to focus on the things I can address. But that's difficult when other things are present in my mind.

I do have friends to talk to. Though it lacks the intimacy of talking with a girlfriend. I am no expert in starting or maintaining a relationship. The ones I have been in I really got into by accident or as a result of situations that I did not initiate. I recently fell hard for a girl I know. I didn't go about anything right and ended up making myself out to be more awkward than I really am. It sucks because I haven't felt like this in a really long time and I thought perhaps that things might be looking up for me. I was wrong.

I'm tired. It's late. I don't feel like writing more. I'll finish my thoughts some other time I guess.

Guess what? It seems that you too are fed up with the fact that these forums are practically dead. It's time to make some action!

In my opinion, you've always been an awesome guy here on the forums JR.

Thank You.

That's really kind of misplaced.

Agreed . . .

Anyways, News of the Bizarre has resumed. Reply if you want to. I probably won't read them. I'm just going to post stories. And a **** load of them too. Keep a tab open. Or don't. Whatever.

I was going to write a long post about how fed up I was with nothing going right. But not everything is going wrong. So how can I justify writing a long-winded post about everything going wrong when some things are in fact going right. The answer is very simple. I can't. I would have no right to. And everyone would know it too. I'm sure it would be pointed out that not everything could possibly be going wrong because there would be now way for me to possibly account for all the variables. It it would be true. There is no way I could possibly account for all the variables even if I had a considerably broad view that allowed me to see a wide scope of the field. It would never be a full scope and that's when I would miss critical details that would otherwise give me a better grasp on the situation. Or in this case, "situations." Indeed some things must therefore be going right. I do find it somewhat regrettable that I can't currently see them at this point in time. It would go very far in elevating my mood from pessimistically abysmal to tolerably average. No, this is not a lack of faith. I'm not some mopey malcontent that drags himself hopelessly from one day of agonizing sorrow to the next. I have a tremendous faith that everything will work out sooner or later. I am, just for the time being, venting my frustrations for the planet to see. Or in this website's case not. And no Alisbet, this has nothing to do with GU's postcount numbers.

The moral of the story is that no matter how bad things seem to get it could be worse. . . In theory.

Cookies anyone? yay

****

^I think that's why the forum is dead

This post has been edited by Zedio: Jul 19 2011, 03:58

But, if it can get worse, that means something has been done right. Right?

i would suggest JR gets a twitter account but he'd exceed the 140 character limit every time

No Worries, Jolly i still love you